Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
