please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
