They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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