I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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