remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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