i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
