should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
