im drinking this country out of the recession.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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