Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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