I puked a lego.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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