So gin and wine won't be happening again
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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