I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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