Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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