doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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