so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
