You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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