i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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