I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
