so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
