But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize