just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
