WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
