matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
