i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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