i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
