I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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