i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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