OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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