I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
