I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
