I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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