No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
