Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
