i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
