Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
