The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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