my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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