Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
