HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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