protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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