No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
