Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
