I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
