i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
