I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
