didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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