I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
