I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we're blogging at a bar
you would pick up someone in the library
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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