Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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