It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize