His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
