I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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