He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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