We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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