in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
