Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
