I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
