Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
