the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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