if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
