too bad you live with your parents still
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
