did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
