Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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