i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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