I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
