I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize