When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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