Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize