nut hugger
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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