I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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