every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
