Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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