Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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