Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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