Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
