we're chasing vodka with high fives
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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