so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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