So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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