Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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