We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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