I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
