We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
