I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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