Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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