its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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