i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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