It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
