Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
